Coloradans Ain’t Humpin’ Like They Used To

We've spoken before about the fact that the state of Colorado has a vested interest in you having sex, and with the release of some new data we may have just found out why that is.

It hasn't been a secret that birth rates have generally been falling around the world, and Colorado is no different. In fact, the Centennial State has the sixth-lowest birthrate in the country, according to the most recent statistics. This lack of new babies just might have something to do with the fact that people in Colorado don't seem to be having much sex.

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A new survey from NapLab has found that Colorado ranks dead last on the list of which residents of which states are 'schtuping' the most. Let that sink in for a moment, while you try not to laugh when you consider the juxtaposition of that information with the current success of the Denver Nuggets. Maybe they need to play more home games?

Believe it or not, Alaska actually took the top spot on the list of friskiness. According to the survey, Alaskans are making whoopee almost three times per week, on average. For comparison: Coloradans, somehow, are barely having sex half-of-one time per week. I'm not entirely sure how that works, exactly, but I'm almost certain it doesn't involve taking off your clothes. Maybe we're counting 'bedroom eyes' as sex these days? I'm married, so I don't know what's hot on the streets.

All jokes aside, it cannot be denied that Colorado has a sex problem, or lack thereof, as the case seems to be. It might have something to do with how expensive it is to raise children in the Centennial State, though I don't seem to remember that being much of a consideration for pretty much anybody when I was in my twenties. Times are different now, I guess, so maybe this next generation is so forward-thinking that they know how much it costs to raise a baby by the time they hit junior-high? I can think of few people from my high school that could've done well with that particular lesson, so they might be on to something.