It snows in Colorado. That's just a fact. How much it snows depends on what day it is, what time it is, whether it's any month between November and April, and various other random things that we have absolutely no control over, but it is indisputable that it will snow in Colorado until the heat-death of the universe. I think.

So, with at least one snow day a year basically a certainty in the Centennial State, it helps to have the plan to get you through those cold and snowy times. To that end, I've put together a quick list of steps to get you through the snow with as little pain as possible.

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fat guy passed out hard on the couch

Step 1: Stay Inside

The first step is the easiest, as we're focusing on the simple act of staying inside. It's quite easy when you think about it. I mean, with all that snow on the ground, there's really no reason not to, is there? If we're really honest, everybody else in town is probably staying home, anyway. Nope, there's nothing but snow and soon-to-be-snow out there. Might as well stay here, since you're already there, no?

Closed - sign hanging on glass door of a shop in a city

Step 2: Don't Go Outside

This part can be a little bit harder than step 1 and is a true test of your self-control. I know: there's not a whole lot to do in your house, and you're getting sick of looking at your family. You just have to get out of the house, I get it. However, steel yourself: as we've just determined, there's nothing out there but snow right now, and snow is cold. Generally speaking, we're looking to stay warm here, so even if it goes against your instincts, just don't go outside. You can always hide from your family in the bathroom, as long as you do so in short bursts.


Step 3: If You Have to Go Outside, Cancel Those Plans

It never fails: even in the midst of the snowstorm of the century, your boss just has to have that report today, and you're the only one who can do it. Oh, and you can only do it from the office, even though the internet is clearly a thing.

Well, it just might be the end of the world out there, with all that snow, so you probably won't need that job anymore, anyway. Tell your boss they aren't your supervisor (even if they are), hang up, and enjoy the snowstorm from the comfort of your own home.

WARNING: Following literally any of this advice could lead to undesirable consequences, so don't trust anything you read on the internet, m'kay?

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